Coaching with Stage and Backstage
How I Use AI Without Losing the Human Connection
Yes, I use AI in my work as a coach and advisor. But no – my clients don’t interact with it.
Instead, I let the technology do what it does best: structure, analyze, remember, and suggest.
I use AI to prepare for sessions, to extract relevant content from my books and podcasts, and to create personalized follow-up messages.
It supports my workflows, sharpens my reflections, and sometimes even reveals blind spots I might otherwise overlook.
Think of it as a quiet, tireless backstage assistant – filtering, organizing, and keeping track so that I can be fully present when it matters most.
Because when I’m on stage – when the coaching session begins – it’s all about the human connection.
I listen. I pause. I respond with presence and intuition. There are no bots in the room. Just two people engaged in meaningful exchange.
I call this model “Coaching with Stage and Backstage.” Behind the curtain, AI is at work: silently analyzing, sorting, remembering. On stage, it disappears. The spotlight is on the person, their world, their aspirations.
This approach aligns deeply with how I understand self-leadership: not merely as a toolbox, but as a practice of navigating life with awareness and intention.
My framework – The Seven Fields of Self-Leadership – offers a lens to make sense of complexity in a leader’s life.
Let me show you how this hybrid model of human coaching and digital support connects to each of the seven fields:
1. Vision And Mission
Backstage, AI helps surface recurring themes from your history – from journals, emails, or past goals.
On stage, we explore what truly resonates with you: the spark behind your choices, the deeper “why.”
AI finds patterns. I help you find purpose.
2. Body, Soul, and Mind
AI can recommend a breathing app or suggest a new research article on stress.
But only a coach can notice the subtle shift in your breathing, the tension in your voice, and invite awareness to those signals.
Human presence can regulate nervous systems. No algorithm can replicate that.
3. Competencies and Self-Development
Sure, AI can map your skills and generate a development plan.
But real development unfolds in conversation: when we challenge a limiting belief or reframe a failure as growth.
Progress is not just tracked—it’s experienced.
4. Co-Workers, Partners & Networks
AI may chart your network or analyze your digital communication patterns.
But healing a broken alliance, building trust, or resolving conflict requires vulnerability and empathy.
AI maps the who; coaching explores the how and the why.
5. Processes and Structures
Digital tools can optimize your systems – calendars, task lists, workflows.
Still, deciding what deserves automation and what needs your personal touch remains a human judgment.
Efficiency is easy. Wisdom takes time.
6. Projects & Products
AI can help you brainstorm, simulate business models, or scan competitors.
But choosing what to create – and how to bring it to life with integrity – is an act of leadership, not just productivity.
Creativity requires more than inputs. It asks for alignment.
7. Added Value
This final field is about meaning, contribution, and impact.
AI might track metrics, but it cannot assess your legacy.
That’s why we meet: to go beyond “what you produce” and into “why it matters.”
So, where does that leave us?
Yes, I embrace technology – but always in service of something greater. AI is a powerful ally. But the true work of transformation happens in human presence.
In an age of automation and endless optimization, I choose to stay close to what makes change real:
Listening. Empathy. Presence.
Because in the end, leadership is not just about managing systems. It’s about leading yourself – with clarity, courage, and connection. And that, I believe, will always require one human being showing up for another.
Originally published on Substack, April 16, 2025.
This is an expanded and updated version, reflecting my current thinking and practice.
